Wednesday, June 29, 2011


     Last night was the last in a series of parties thrown by a dear friend in the absence of parents. The 3 parties I attended over the last week were the only keggers I’ve seen in my hometown, and they were all fantastic opportunities to catch up with friends.  I arrived at my friend’s around 10:00, excited to find out what the night had in store for me.
     While there were several notable things about this party, I’d like to start with the elixirs that were fueling the party – Yuengling and jungle juice. Yuengling is one of my favorite brews. It’s flavorful, substantial, and relatively inexpensive.

9.99 at wegman’s

     This was the first time I’ve had yuengling on tap, and when it’s cold it is fantastic. I found myself sipping my cold lager instead of guzzling it down. It was certainly a pleasant change for the first several cups, and I started to buzz quicker than I usually do. With a pleasant warm feeling in my cheeks, I decided to take a seat on the couch, relax, and spectate the party for a bit.

     While sitting 4 girls joined me and a friend in the music room. They were drinking out of 20 oz. soda cups, which I assume was filled with a strong sugary drink. 2 of the girls popped a Xanax and started playing card games. Fuck the dealer was the first game we played and my beer disappeared quickly.  I refilled and returned to my spot on the couch, and fuck the dealer gave way to kings, which was a huge relief. 

     Call me a pussy if you want, but after an hour it was getting difficult to drink the beer. It’s not that I was too full to drink, but rather the beer was too flavorful. The magic of light beer is that once you get a good buzz, it gets easier to drink; I found out that’s not the case with yuengling. I finished my beer playing kings, and I switched to jungle juice for a cup to give myself a break. Normally, when I turn to jungle juice for relief, it’s relief from straight liquor.

 I rarely remember those nights

     I left the couch and went back to mingling. Around 11:30, a few friends invited me to smoke and I obliged.

“Of course I inhaled. That’s the point”
 – President Barack Obama

     One thing that I’ve learned is that grass ruins parties for me. It really makes me antisocial and awkward. I get uncomfortable in completely normal situations, and this is doubly true if I’m the only one in the situation that’s baked.  SO, from about 12:00 on, I was completely introverted and boring.

I’ll end with some notable personal encounters that I was too high to respond to…

-Before I left the party, I ran into xanax girl again. She was drinking out of her soda cup again, which was presumably filled with jungle juice. I asked her what was in her drink, and her reply was “Roofies”. I got extremely uncomfortable. Instead of asking her for her number, I looked at my cup, which was full of room-temperature yuengling, and walked away. Fail.

-I was discussing my opinion on the beer towards the end of the night, when a girl came up asking for someone to hold her up for a keg stand. She was in the air for 35+ seconds. Ridiculous.

-Someone got into a serious argument with his girlfriend, and got into a shouting match with her that ended in the beer pong room. They were standing at opposite ends of the room shouting at each other. I decided to leave, and the rest of the party was awkward goodbyes.


  1. good story, im glad i was there to share it with you, hope you get xanax girl next time

  2. Nice post man, following for more.

    I'll have to try that beer too, seems decent.

  3. Yuengling is my favorite beer. Sounds like an epic night, dude. In the words of the Juggernaut: "Oh man, I gotta watch those late night parties!"